Planned Denial

Things I have done this week to encourage the seed of the desire to start writing again I discovered last week:

• Started following the blog "Writer Unboxed" http://writerunboxed.com/
• Started following the blog "Writing with Style"  http://grosvenorsquare.blogspot.com/
• Started taking notes on characters and setting for my next novel
• Started purposely daydreaming in my daily commute, picturing myself writing. Picturing myself revising. Picturing myself happily writing without any dread of outcomes.
• Finished reading two novels, "Solomon's Oak" by Jo-Ann Mapson and "Life is Short but Wide" by J. California Cooper.

I'm purposely focusing on the pleasant parts of writing.  I know reality will eventually set in. But my little seed of desire could easily blow away in the wind, so for these early weeks, I'm allowing myself to just enjoy things. Kind of like the joy of pushing your cart through miles of perenials and annuals at the greenhouse in May. Imagining the beauty to come in your own front yard, ignoring the invasive weeds, whining mosquitos and the occasional dead bird you encounter in actually gardening.

I'm denying any possibility of the insecurity felt while you allow someone to read your work, the doom of knowing everything you have written is horrible, and the frustration at your beautiful thoughts coming out on the page in a tangled mess.

I still feel my seed is in the seed packet and not even planted let alone watered, so for now I'm going to stick to strictly non-reality shows in my mind. Here's to living in denial -- at least for a while.

Blessings,
Toni