1. How do you know its love? When the other person puts you before themselves. Not 100% of the time, but it should be much more common than ignoring your desires and suggestions and favorites. If he buys the kind of Oreos you like when there is only enough money for one package of cookies in the budget, there is a good chance he or she will not become a selfish bastard later in life.
2. What is the meaning of life? Wow, like no I don’t think I can answer that. But per above, I can answer what my current meaning of life is, today. Might be different tomorrow. Current meaning of life is to squeeze something good out of every experience. When I’m in a deep depression and my furnace goes out and my aunt falls in the nursing home and my 401k drops by 30% all on the same day, I try to (eventually) find something good, as in something to cling to. That depression might lead to some insight into what started it, a new furnace I can afford now but not in five years I bet, my husband had some funny stories from the run to the hospital, and face it 401k or not, I’m going to be broke when retirement hits. Might as well just call it like it is. Facing what seems like the worst usually results in realizing it isn’t really. The worst. (Although nursing home falls are right near that bottom of my barrel if we were ranking worsts.)
3. How do you find a job you love? I think most people kind of like their job and some people hate their job and a few people love their job. Life goes on if it is just ok. I am thankful to be employed steadily. Just remember you work to live, you don’t live to work. It is a cliché for a reason. When changing employers one time, they never called me once for all the supposed insight and knowledge I had obtained over my 17 years with that company. They move on. My best career advice is find a job where time flies, and you aren’t bored. I’ve achieved that most of the time.
4. How do you overcome anxiety and depression? I continue to do it the same way since 1991 – with good medications from my doctor.
5. What will you never regret? For me – travel. I highly value all kinds of travel, even when it meant opening a new credit card that I eventually had to pay off from my 401k back in the 80s. Even when it meant taking a crappy job after hours at a mall counting inventory to save enough for a beach trip. Even when it meant twisting arms and legs and elbows to convince everyone my plans were going to work and yes, we should ALL go. Those experiences in that mountain, beach, camp, city trip are firmly in my DNA and I love that they are.
6. What do you wish you knew at age 21 that you know now? Well, I can’t remember yesterday’s breakfast so I honest to God don’t think I can remember what I knew at 21. If pressed, I’d say…invest in cardboard manufacturers early because in 40 years there will be boxes delivered to your door three times a day. Save the dingey retro Christmas ornaments you turned your nose up in your mother’s basement? That’s all I can come up with.
7. What do you tell new parents? (Also good for new graduates, newly marrieds, and new retirees) ‘Go with the flow.’ You can’t control everything and the sooner you figure that out, the happier you will be. You can’t make that leak in the kitchen ceiling go away, or prevent the ear infection, or guarantee that the second-grade class will like your Halloween party games. Your carburetor will go out the same day your phone gets knocked into the toilet by a large dog. It’s possible the dog just got hold of a dead mouse and will leave it in your favorite black leather boots. There is almost nothing you have control over. Sit in that knowledge. It only took me to around age 50 to figure that one out.
I hope when I retire someday, I have time to contemplate the
questions again, perhaps a little more seriously. I wonder how my 40-something and 50-something
self would answer these questions? Maybe
I’ll try it again in ten years.
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