You know with every wedding things go wrong. Actually they just go differently than they were planned. But in every sense, the way things went at my son Chris' wedding to his best friend Jenny this past weekend was better and more full of life than anything we could have predicted or planned.
A lot of wedding planning is attempting to predict and solve for the unexpected. Which by definition is hard to do. But you think, what if it rains, what if it starts late, what if people get lost trying to find the venue, what if no one dances, what if no one rsvps a 'No'? lol. Post-wedding, I say embrace the unexpected. Who do we all think we are that we can pre-plan every special moment? God has it in his hands, people. God has much better plans than any we can imagine. Wait, isn't that in the bible? I think someone said that before me.
I wanted to mark a few memories down here before I forget them. I barely remember anything from my own wedding day, 34 years ago. But I can come back and read this and it will remind me.
Remind me of the Lion King moments. Off in the huge fields beyond the ceremony were a herd of buffalo to the left and a herd of elk (?) to the right. Floating between them seemingly to the violin music being played during the ceremony were a large flock of birds swooping in harmony amid the buffalo. God's creation all around, from the sweetest flower girl moments with their innocent and meandering path down the aisle to the fall weeds (you know I love 'em) by the split rail fence for the 'getting ready' photos to the mist that surrounded the hillside and the trees just starting to turn a bit for their fall splendor.
Of the laughter had by all. The jokes about the rain, the Rage Club (the house where Chris and Jenny met and fell in love), Jenny growing up, Chris' nerves. Chuck wanting to stick a fork in Chris and call him 'done'. So much laughter. The Merlin fathead....
Of the mishaps. I
Of new experiences? I am sure I had never opened three weather apps on my phone at the same time before and tracked the weather for 3:30 pm in Edwards, IL for seven days before an event. It burnt up some of my adrenalin, keeping me busy doing that. Predictors went from 30% to 90% to 50% chance of rain in the same day on one of the days I roosted there. Weather, weather, weather.
Of new experiences! My first Jewish wedding! The unveiling, the do-se-do, the chuppah, the blessings. The stomping on the wine glass is a tradition I've seen in movies, but the explanation in person was much more meaningful. This represents how fragile relationships are and how without trying you can break it into a thousand pieces so easily and quickly with the wrong words or actions. So true and gives me goosebumps to recall this.
The reception was wonderful and hard. Hard because you invite all these people who love you and your son, and then you get to spend about sixty seconds with each, if you are lucky. I guess all the weddings over the years are how you repay them for their devotion and support, but I wish we could have talked to everyone more!
Wonderful because with only two glasses of wine in five hours I felt high as a kite the whole time. High on the most amazing reception venue with glass on three walls looking out into woods and fields and sky.
High on love and joy, good food and wine, beautiful flowers and smiling faces. High on watching my girls dance together and have fun at their brother's wedding. High on watching adorable great-nieces and nephews at the photo booth.
There were several epic moments, including the hora or Hava Nagila dance where it seemed all 200 guests were on the dance floor while we circled the loved couple at a speed racer pace!
Wonderful to see my firstborn as a mature, loving husband who truly cared about his new wife, who danced as much as anyone there to the amazing bluegrass music of New Cats. Very impressed with he and Jenny's intricate, quirky, tightly woven group of friends who were so present all day and evening.
Wonderful to stand outside on the rain-soaked deck in my bare feet, with Chuck and look back into the venue at 8pm with all the lights and flowers and flying dancers and know that everything was right with the world in that moment.
Do I feel ten years younger now that the responsibility of all that is involved in a wedding in 2018 is accomplished. Yes, yes I do. Before this weekend I might have been overheard saying "I've got to go through this three more times as the mother of the bride." Do I still feel this way? No. Life is simple and beautiful when concentrated down to this. I now feel that if I'm really, really lucky I might GET to go through it three more times and experience the overflowing joy, all clearly focused on loving two people for a time.
*PhotoCredits: courtesy of the hashtag #roomies4life on Instagram and Facebook!
